Tag Archives: perfectionism

Perfectionism: “I’d like to have people over more often, but I rarely do, because it’s so much work to cook a great meal.”

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"Impeccable" by Mimi Stuart
Live the Life you Desire

If you want to spend time with friends but don’t want to work too hard cooking, have a potluck or cook something easy. I think most people would rather spend the evening with friends they enjoy than a stressed-out host with an elaborate meal.



The perfectionist within might ask, “What’s wrong with excelling?” Yet, the desire to excel differs from the desire to perfect. Perfectionism is “a propensity for setting extremely high standards and being displeased with anything else.” Ironically, the anxiety created by the perfectionist’s fear of failure can ruin the sought after pleasure of cooking an excellent meal for friends.

There is no reason you can’t have BOTH the desire to excel and the ability to accept and enjoy reality, which is less than perfect. So if you want, try to cook something great, but maintain a relaxed attitude despite anything that MIGHT go wrong.

You rarely hear about the perfect dinner party, but an over-spiced, smoke-filled, ridiculously-problematic dinner tale gets a lot of mileage in laughter-filled stories long after the smoke clears. Laughter is much better for your health and your relationships than the anxiety of having to control for THE perfect outcome.

by Alison Poulsen, PhD

Read “Too Responsible to Enjoy.”

Feng Shui Day with Dr. Katherine Morris: “I always feel on edge in my new home. It’s as though I’m becoming a perfectionist.”

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"Blue and Gold" by Mimi Stuart, W Foundation Collection
Live the Life you Desire

A home that does not meet the needs of those who live in it is a source of ongoing stress. Homeowners often fail to consider the effects their homes have on their interpersonal communications, their family life, their love life, their work life, their sleeping habits, their health, and their peace of mind.

The Feng Shui 5 elements are the building blocks of the physical world. They are earth, metal, water, wood, and fire. Humans are made up energetically of the qualities/metaphors associated with the five elements and are therefore most comfortable when all five are represented in their environment.

When one element dominates a space literally, an attitude or behavior that correlates with that element will also dominate. For example, perfectionism can be fostered or exacerbated by a home or office that has too much of the metal element. A space which is dominated by the metal element can foster an inflexible attitude, a sharp tongue, an obsession with order, differences, and the need to be right. Perfectionism is what we want for the Blue Angels and for engineers designing our bridges, but we might be happier if we don’t demand it at home.

By Dr. Katherine Grace Morris, founder of SoulfulSpace.com and InspiredSettings.com, a depth psychologist and feng shui consultant in the Washington, DC area.