Living the Life you Desire:
“Why me? Everything would be different, if only….”

“Noble Love” by Mimi Stuart ©
Live the Life you Desire

Sometimes we impulsively focus on the negative, perpetuating our view of ourselves as victims lacking influence over our own life and attitude.

Sometimes we rush through life without any awareness of how those around us and we ourselves are feeling. In other words, we lack connection with the world and ourselves.

It’s important to ask yourself how you want to experience the journey through life. By keeping in mind how you really want to live your life, you are more likely to live the life you desire, whether that means being happy, reaching your full potential, having meaningful relationships, or all of the above.

Living a more fulfilling life is possible when we become self-aware and understand the dynamics of life’s subtleties.

Ask yourself what you would like more of in your life?

Enjoyment with friends.
Confidence—abilities and skills.
A better job.
Time with family.
Solitude.
Time outside to exercise and enjoy the out-of-doors.
Respect from those around you.
Better health.
More fun.
More financial security.
Serenity.

There is a time for solitude and a time for pursuing financial security. Much suffering comes from neglecting specific spheres in our life. The man who only wants to have fun and enjoy friends may end up alienating friends when he banks on their generosity for too long. The woman who is exclusively compelled to drive forward her career may find herself estranged from family and friends.

As we approach different stages in our life, we may be able to adjust our lives to achieve greater balance and with it a more fulfilling life. Living a meaningful, fulfilling life involves being mindful of the world around us as well as keeping aware of our own inner experience as we pass through the different phases of our life.

by Alison Poulsen, PhD

Read “Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs: ‘Since he lost his job, he doesn’t seem to care about our relationship.’”

Guest Author Roswitha McIntosh:
In Search of the Good Life.
“If only life weren’t such a struggle!”

"In Search of the Good Life" Cover by Mimi Stuart ©
Live the Life you Desire

What is the Good Life?
Is it freedom from want, or
freedom to do as we please?
Is it leisure, status or power?
Or is it happiness,
serenity, and contentment?
Is it the same for all of us?

Let us begin our quest.

It begins by looking within ourselves;
for a good life has many aspects,
different for each of us.
As we grow, change and mature,
so, too, our ideal of a Good Life changes.

A Good Life can be an active life,
filled with purpose and usefulness,
with endeavors, challenges and friends,
and with pride in one’s work,
for even a small task is significant
in the mosaic of the whole.

With pride in our effort comes
confidence and self respect,
vital ingredients in a Good Life.
For as we esteem ourselves,
so we grant respect, kindness
and consideration to others.

Freedom from want is often
praised as ensuring a Good Life.
But does it?
Some of us recall times of struggle as
the best years of our life, times that
challenged our courage and strength,
our ingenuity, endurance and faith,
when hardship and struggle
were our taskmasters.
Indeed, a Good Life is ethereal,
unrelated to plenty or need,
for its roots lie within us.

Moderation and curiosity are
crucial in our world of excess:
moderation in action and thought, and
curiosity to explore our wondrous world
teeming with beauty and mystery.

Our life may abound
in belongings and luxuries,
alluring tendrils which enslave us.
Yet dangers lurk everywhere.
Let us gratefully enjoy
what we are given.
Possessions are not essential,
but joy and gratitude are.

Fear and worry have no place in a
Good Life. Let courage crowd them out.
Courage helps us face the world.
Courage sets us free to take risks,
free to assume responsibility,
and free to admit our failings
as part of being human.
For no one is perfect.

Embrace life
whole-heartedly,
with all its ironies, ambiguities
and contradictions.

Our world of diversity
begs for Tolerance:

Tolerance to allow others to be
who they are, and tolerance
to let them become what they can be.
Tolerance transcends the need
for power over others.
It is the path to
untrammeled accord.

Above all there must be love
and good will toward all creation,
love toward Life itself.

Once the Good Life has been found,
it must be won again daily,
for life is in eternal flux.

Thus, in the search for the Good Life,
keep two ingredients on hand:
a flexible mind, ready to adapt to
what today may bring,
and a sense of humor
willing to smile, even
in the face of adversity.

by Roswitha McIntosh, author of “Live, Laugh and Learn—Tales of Tumultous Times,” “Madman and his Mistress—History in the Making,” and “In Search of the Good Life.”

Read “Fantasies: ‘All I want is a Lamborghini! Then I’d be happy.’”

“My life has no purpose or meaning.”

"Soulful" — B.B. King by Mimi Stuart ©
Live the Life you Desire

Once we have our health and the necessities of life, it may be natural to pursue pleasure, excitement, and intellectual stimulation. Yet, if we pause to ask what has been most fulfilling and meaningful in our lives, it is likely that instances of sincere giving to others will be near the top of the list.

Knowing that your actions or words have contributed to someone’s well-being adds meaningful purpose to your life. It is wonderful to know that the way you’ve lived your life and how you’ve treated others has improved other people’s lives.

Contributing to others enhances not only their lives, but it is one of the greatest ways to enhance our own. Someone who helps others on a regular basis can have great impact on their lives and will never lack a sense of purpose and meaning in his or her own life.

Not everyone has the time or resources to contribute to others in a large-scale or consistent way, such as volunteer work or donations. This, however, does not exclude you from developing a giving nature. Giving to others can include small kindnesses such as a warm smile, sincere compliments, and encouraging words. Contributing to others becomes a way of being by consistently bringing the best of yourself to those with whom you interact.

by Alison Poulsen, PhD

Read “Over-functioning” to avoid going to the extreme of doing too much.

Read “Compassion in Relationships.”

Read “Pleaser and Receiver.”