"The Wright Brothers" by Mimi Stuart Live the Life you Desire
So what I really meant was…
“I’d like you to organize your room. Please clean it up before dinner. Do you need help getting started?”
It’s best to be direct with children, that is, firm and respectful, even when their idea of cleaning is “to sweep the room with a glance,” as Erma Bombeck would say.
Comparisons don’t motivate or inspire children. They only dishearten them and invoke sibling rivalry and jealousy.
The surest route to breeding jealousy is to compare. Since jealousy comes from feeling “less than” another, comparisons only fan the fires.
"Effervescence" by Mimi Stuart Live the Life you Desire
There’s a big difference between provocatively flirting with others and simply being an outgoing, attractive person. People with self-respect who are engaged in the world with a positive outlook tend to have a certain magnetism that is appealing to others.
People cannot expect their partners to go out in the world with a stern or repressed demeanor and come home with life-enhancing energy — that would be unfortunate for everyone.
If you simply exude a healthy vitality and are not purposely trying to get sexual attention, then your husband may be missing out on enjoying your energetic essence.
By accusing you of being flirtatious, he is unconsciously trying to shame you into hiding the part of yourself that is animated and engaging. Keep in mind he may be doing this as he fears losing you. The unfortunate result is that he will push you away and cause you to hide the more vibrant part of yourself from HIM.
Thus, it’s vital that he show his appreciation for the part of you that captivates people. You could remind him that he’s the one you are faithful to (assuming it’s true, of course), and that he should not expect you to constrict yourself around others in your sphere. Remind him that you are not interested in starting up inappropriate relationships and that you know your boundaries.
Ask him not to diminish himself by blaming you for your charismatic life force. Instead, if he learns to overcome his insecurity, he’ll appear more attractive and confident in himself. By valuing what attracted him to you in the first place, rather than trying to squelch your spark, he would enhance the magic between you.
"Wailing Sax" by Mimi Stuart Live the Life you Desire
A jealous partner may have experienced abandonment in his or her life and be easily triggered. Getting angry won’t help the situation.
Try to have compassion. “You sound jealous. I want you to know you are the most important person to me. There is nobody else and there is nobody who compares.”
If jealousy continues to be an ongoing problem without any basis to it, tell the jealous person that the suspicions are hurtful and are causing you to feel defensive and to want to withdraw, and that is not good for the relationship. Ask her to focus on her desires and not her fears in the relationship. Try to be understanding in that this is about her insecurity. While being considerate and reassuring, don’t start constricting your life to pander to her fears, if they are unreasonable.
