Tag Archives: imagination

Fantasies: “All I want is a Lamborghini! Then I’d be happy.”

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"White Hot Speed" by Mimi Stuart ©
Live the Life you Desire


Fantasies reveal to us symbolically what we may be missing in our lives. When we look at our fantasies metaphorically, they can point the way to our path to wholeness. However, we often take them too literally, and fail to realize the real need underlying the fantasy. For instance, the desire for an exceptional car might really signify our need for personal power, freedom, or the sense of being special.

Indulging literally in the whims of imagination can be a pleasurable escape from everyday reality. It can also inspire you to work hard, to pursue a new path, and even to change the course of your life. However, fantasies are deceptive in that they highlight the pleasure, thrill, and magic of what’s possible, and leave out the dreary, difficult, and inconvenient aspects of reality. They also often substitute the literal object for the quality that we could benefit from developing in ourselves.

Statistics have shown that most lottery winners lose all their gains within five years and often wish they had never won the lottery. The documentary “Lucky” follows several lottery winners after they have won the lottery to see how their “luck” ends up changing their lives.

One of the few people whose lives are not spoiled by winning the lottery is a math professor who had always fantasized about buying a Lamborghini. Once he is able to make his fantasy a reality, however, he chooses not to buy the exotic car, but to stick with his car and his life, having realized that having the fantasy was better than the would-be reality. He decides that owning the car would not be worth envy of the neighbors nor the worry about where to park to avoid damage to the precious car.

That’s not to say that it might not be satisfying to acquire exceptional and fancy things. Yet, it’s wise to remember that fantasies don’t consider the various challenges that come with their realization. Moreover, whatever fantasies come true, you remain the same person.

On the other hand, by learning what is motivating the fantasy, you don’t have to win the lottery to start integrating the sought-for qualities within yourself.

by Alison Poulsen, PhD

Read “Listening to the One Percent” by Tony Evans.

Read “He’s such a caveman! Same old Disappointment on Valentine’s Day.”

Read “Happiness, Freedom, and Independence: ‘I don’t know what will make me happy.'”

“I’m bored.”

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"Tranquillo" by Mimi Stuart
Live the Life you Desire

“Boredom flourishes too, when you feel safe. It’s a symptom of security.”

~Eugene Ionesco

Boredom is a sense of suspension in moments that lack purpose, intensity, and activity. Boredom can arise when life is safe and easy and a person lacks challenge and curiosity. People who are driven to experience lively engagement of their minds and bodies may feel uncomfortable when they temporarily lack direction and stimulation.

Someone who’s bored might seek entertainment to avoid self-reflection or to feed self-centeredness, which are two sides of the same coin. Boredom is often caused by an anxiety of having to face quiet and perhaps emptiness—a fear that there will be nothing to feel if one is not active, excited, or busy.

To avoid falling into disconnected limbo, there are many quick fixes. Technological games and connectivity are easy distractions but don’t amount to a deep engagement of the mind and body.

On the other hand, persevering through boredom without seeking distraction can lead to self-awareness and groundedness that can arise out of self-reflection. Creativity can also ensue.

People sometimes say, “If you’re bored, you lack imagination.” Let’s go a step further and say that creative imagination requires the ability to withstand boredom. Creativity—where two unconnected ideas collide creating a new idea—occurs when the brain is relaxed and aware, but not distracted. Texting, computer games, web surfing, and looking in the refrigerator distract, but they don’t allow for free flow movement and the deepening of ideas.

How can we respond to boredom without jumping to a distraction?

1. Sit with the boredom. Mathematician and inventor Pascal wrote, “All man’s troubles come from not knowing how to sit still in one room.”

By avoiding distractions one is able to observe what lies underneath the unease of boredom. Rather than reaching for the phone, the TV remote, or a drink to kill boredom, use the time to sit or take a walk and “be with” yourself.

2. Focus on other people. Helping someone else instantly frees a person from the weariness of boredom. Rather than thinking about how to entertain yourself, think about how you could brighten someone else’s day. Volunteer work, for example, with the intent to help others is gratifying and absorbing. Even just noticing and perhaps smiling at someone while standing in line somewhere can deepen you awareness and make a difference to you and the other person.

3. Work or school. Dale Carnegie once recommended, “Are you bored with life? Then throw yourself into some work you believe in with all your heart, live for it, die for it, and you will find happiness that you had thought could never be yours.”

If boredom is an ongoing theme in your life, it may be helpful to find work or enroll in classes to help you participate in the world in a meaningful way. Many people need external motivation, which school and work provide, to be focused on something other than their own vague yearnings.

by Alison Poulsen, PhD

Recommended article by Carolyn Johnson: “In Defense of Boredom”