Relationship break ups can be extremely painful because of the feelings of rejection, loneliness, fear of the unknown, and even be a loss of your sense of self. How you feel after a breakup depends on the relationship and the breakup itself. There may have been an unexpected event, or a gradual drifting apart.

The best way forward is pretty much the same regardless of how difficult the breakup was and whether or not you hope to get back together. This video illustrates 12 reminders to help you move from being angry and grief-stricken to feeling whole again.

The most effective way to deal with an ex is with an attitude of respect and self-respect. Whether or not you are able to restore the relationship, you will feel better about yourself if you can retain your composure and make your life more whole and fulfilling.

by Alison Poulsen, PhD