"Reflection of Inner Beauty" — Einstein by Mimi Stuart
Live the Life you Desire
So what I really meant is…
“I’m going to spend time with people who enrich my life.”
Time is valuable. The people you spend time with have a big impact on your life. It’s important to choose people, activities, and books that elevate your thinking, your attitude, and your life.
You are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with.
~Jim Rohn
by Alison Poulsen, PhD
my father is one of these negative people, i love him dearly but dread spending time with him as all he does is complain… i sometimes only feel he is happy when he is yelling and complaining Even when we have gone and helped him out fixing issues in his home all he has done is complained to the point that my husband doesn’t want to do anything for him anymore.. i feel bad i avoid him so much but I am unsure as to what else to do any advice.
Thank you for your comment that slipped through the cracks.
It’s hard to deal with a yelling and complaining parent. Yet, it sounds as though you’re able to have enough compassion for him to still love him and yet see that he is not creating a great atmosphere for joyful and happy relationships.
I would try to do something with your dad without your husband most of the time. You really don’t need to taint your relationship with the extreme negativity of your parent. Once in a while you can do something brief together with both your dad and your husband. Perhaps think of something that won’t take long, like having a quick lunch out. Or do something that doesn’t involve too much talking, like seeing a movie, either out or at home.
People usually don’t change when they’re older. But you could try talking to him in a positive way, such as, “Dad, let’s talk about something positive. It brings me down to hear so much negativity.” Or you could question him about his past so he won’t dwell on the miseries of the present. You could also respond like a psychologist, and say something like, “It sounds like you are pretty frustrated. Is there anything else bothering you?” Often constant complaining is a way to get attention for something a person is not actually addressing.
I’ll think about this some more and get back to you. Let me know if you’ve found anything that works. Good luck.
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