"Threshold to the Future" by Mimi Stuart
Live the Life you Desire
Judgment and attacks rarely help people improve their attitude. It’s human nature to stop listening when being criticized (teens in particular). Discussing cause and effect is more compelling than fear-mongering.
You might capture their attention by starting out with your positive motivation. Then you’ll be more effective by explaining how an attitude of entitlement hurts a person in life.
For instance, “I care about your future happiness and self-empowerment. My concern is that you will suffer a lot of disappointment if you appear entitled by not contributing to those around you. People respect those who make an effort to show initiative and appreciation for others’ efforts. A willingness to participate fosters good working relationships in life and leads to personal power.”
When others sense that your concern is for their welfare AND that you are not attacking or trying to control them, they are more likely to listen and take your message to heart.
by Alison Poulsen, PhD
Read “I’ve told you kids a thousand times to say ‘Thank you#!*%*!!'”
Teenagers don’t care if you are concerned for their welfare! They label everything a parent tells them as the parent trying to manipulate him into obeying like a master with a pet. The teenager is onto this and determined to not obey. Although, I do agree that verbally attacking a child doesn’t help. Talking to them as reasonable adults is a waste of time. My children are both very successful young adults now. When they were teenagers the only thing that seemed to get through to them was facing the consequences of their actions then talking them through how things should have gone. I gave them lots of opportunities to spread their wings and fall. I thought it was better to do that in the safety of my home then when they are moved out. When their ego has taken a blow and they have no one to blame but themselves was the best time to talk to them about appreciation or their future. I now have custody of my nephew and was searching for advice on how to break through his overwhelming sense of entitlement. I don’t care about his happiness at this point since he seems to think that my job in life is to make him happy. My job, as I see it, is to make him a confident, kind, appreciative man with high self esteem and a not so high ego, who is able to make sound decisions and face the consequences or rewards of those decisions with grace.
Thank you for the helpful information
Thank you!