To sustain a long-term passionate relationship, a couple needs to balance two primary drives—the desire for togetherness and the desire for autonomy. While everyone has a different ideal balance point, it’s clear that the extremes of too much togetherness or too much independence can each generate their own problems.
You might be able to get your partner to stop pursuing their passion of choice, but first ask yourself the following questions:
Bringing passion back into your relationship depends on the qualities you bring to the relationship.
1. Vitality
Think of the people you find attractive and desirable. They are probably passionate about the people and pursuits in their lives.
How can you enhance your own life by pushing your own boundaries? For example, would you benefit by becoming more independent, romantic, fun, healthy, or fit? Everybody’s personality, interests, and life journey are different. One person may want to focus on developing Continue reading
“Emerald Paula” by Mimi Stuart© Live the Life you Desire
The Pursuer
Pursuers crave connection, assuming that it will satisfy their inner hunger to be seen or loved, but it seldom does. They’re often attracted to emotionally-independent or closed types, which makes it less likely that their need for connection will be met.
Sometimes their pursuit of connection is tainted with an unconscious expectation that they will be disappointed or rejected. This expectation causes them to come across as needy or insecure. Continue reading
“Is it clingy to always be the one waiting for someone who doesn’t seem that excited to see you?”
Balance Desire
When you are the one waiting for the other person to call you or come home, your desire for that person increases. It’s important, therefore, to find some balance. Otherwise, the Pursuer/Distancer dynamic will become amplified. Continue reading
“The Kiss” by Mimi Stuart ©
Live the Life you Desire
A relationship is made up of a history of interactions between two people. All of the daily moments, glances, words, and focus of energy add up to create your relationship. Consider what kind of interactions your relationship consists of primarily:
Connection,
Collaboration,
Cuddling,
Caring,
Conversations, and
Compliments,