A trip out of town can ease pressure and be re-invigorating. Yet an overpowering desire to get away from it all – driven by the pressures of everyday life – often indicates a failure to set adequate boundaries.
A strong desire to flee might signal that it is time to think about
• how you are giving too much of yourself, • which people you’d like to say “no” to, and • which projects you’d like to limit in your life.
A strong desire to flee might signal that it is time to determine
• what you need more of in your life, such as rest or enjoyment, • which people you’d like to spend more time with, and • what pursuits you’d like to add to your life.
Consider how to achieve these changes effectively, by
• expressing your choices to limit activities with clarity, tact, and consideration, • taking the initiative to add desired people and pursuits into your life, and • continuing to reassess and respect your own needs, desires, and comfort zone.
By tuning into feelings of irritation early and readjusting the choices you make, you are less likely to get fed up and want to run away from it all. Sometimes, however, a break is just what is needed to get revitalized and to contemplate in leisure the changes you would like to make in your life.
What is the Good Life? Is it freedom from want, or freedom to do as we please? Is it leisure, status or power? Or is it happiness, serenity, and contentment? Is it the same for all of us?
Let us begin our quest.
It begins by looking within ourselves; for a good life has many aspects, different for each of us. As we grow, change and mature, so, too, our ideal of a Good Life changes.
A Good Life can be an active life, filled with purpose and usefulness, with endeavors, challenges and friends, and with pride in one’s work, for even a small task is significant in the mosaic of the whole.
With pride in our effort comes confidence and self respect, vital ingredients in a Good Life. For as we esteem ourselves, so we grant respect, kindness and consideration to others.
Freedom from want is often praised as ensuring a Good Life. But does it? Some of us recall times of struggle as the best years of our life, times that challenged our courage and strength, our ingenuity, endurance and faith, when hardship and struggle were our taskmasters. Indeed, a Good Life is ethereal, unrelated to plenty or need, for its roots lie within us.
Moderation and curiosity are crucial in our world of excess: moderation in action and thought, and curiosity to explore our wondrous world teeming with beauty and mystery.
Our life may abound in belongings and luxuries, alluring tendrils which enslave us. Yet dangers lurk everywhere. Let us gratefully enjoy what we are given. Possessions are not essential, but joy and gratitude are.
Fear and worry have no place in a Good Life. Let courage crowd them out. Courage helps us face the world. Courage sets us free to take risks, free to assume responsibility, and free to admit our failings as part of being human. For no one is perfect.
Embrace life whole-heartedly, with all its ironies, ambiguities and contradictions.
Our world of diversity begs for Tolerance:
Tolerance to allow others to be who they are, and tolerance to let them become what they can be. Tolerance transcends the need for power over others. It is the path to untrammeled accord.
Above all there must be love and good will toward all creation, love toward Life itself.
Once the Good Life has been found, it must be won again daily, for life is in eternal flux.
Thus, in the search for the Good Life, keep two ingredients on hand: a flexible mind, ready to adapt to what today may bring, and a sense of humor willing to smile, even in the face of adversity.
Whatever unfairness a person faces, one part of overcoming it is to work and perform at a level of high distinction.
During WW I, African American men were not allowed to fly because of racial prejudice. Yet, through perseverance, hard work, and excellence, the “Tuskegee Airmen” became the most requested pilots to escort and protect bomber missions during World War II. Also called the “Red Tails” because of the red paint applied on their airplane tail assemblies, they achieved an exceptional record of protecting bombers during some 200 escort missions during the war.
We proved that the antidote to racism is excellence in performance.
~Tuskegee Airman Lieutenant Colonel Herbert Carter
Courage is the first of human qualities because it is the quality, which guarantees the others.
~Aristotle
Courage is the mental or moral strength to confront fear, pain, danger, uncertainty, or intimidation. For every individual, courage manifests itself in different ways. It might require some to be honest about themselves; others to endure suffering; some to speak up for what they believe, and others to remain quiet and allow others to pursue their own path.
It takes tremendous courage to resist acting things out in our rage, and instead to figure out what actions would be most effective in the pursuit of fairness.
Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.
Intimacy requires letting yourself be known, and this requires knowing yourself and accepting yourself, ordinariness and all. To have a fulfilling relationship, you need to be strong enough to acknowledge your failings, to own your talents and uniqueness with equanimity, and to accept your unexceptional qualities with dignity. It takes courage to risk not being accepted for who you are.
The media glamorizes some of the tackiest eccentrics, turning them into celebrities, often making people feel less-than in their every day normality. It causes an unfortunate need to feel superior, special, or even freakish in order to feel worthy of love.
The fear of not being liked is really about not accepting ourselves. It’s easier to accept who we are when we realize that most of the joy we experience comes from authentic commonplace moments when we laugh at our failings, are true to ourselves, and are honest and naked in our simple truth.
Most humor, love, and connection demands compassion for one another. One thing we can all have compassion for is our commonality, our ordinariness.
What can be more ordinary than a shared comedy of obsessive rituals in the face of the fear of flying, the embarrassing things uttered on a first date, or the delight of a great cup of coffee. Notice how comedians get their greatest laughs by highlighting the quirkiness of run-of-the-mill events and thoughts that we all experience but go by unnoticed.
Wouldn’t it be exceptional to be able to experience unremarkable moments as special or even sacred in their very human ordinariness?
Always remember you’re special, just like everyone else.
