Guest Author Michael A. Singer:
“I want to be happy, but my wife left me.”

"Happiness" by Mimi Stuart ©
Live the Life you Desire

Excerpt from Chapter 15 of “The Untethered Soul”: The The Path of Unconditional Happiness.

The highest spiritual path is life itself. If you know how to live daily life, it all becomes a liberating experience. But first you have to approach life properly, or it can be very confusing. To begin with, you have to realize that you really only have one choice in this life, and it’s not about your career, whom you want to marry, or whether you want to seek God. People tend to burden themselves with so many choices. But, in the end, you can throw it all away and just make one basic, underlying decision: Do you want to be happy, or do you not want to be happy? It’s really that simple. Once you make that choice, your path through life becomes totally clear.

Most people don’t dare give themselves that choice because they think it’s not under their control. Someone might say, “Well, of course I want to be happy, but my wife left me.” In other words, they want to be happy, but not if their wife leaves them. But that wasn’t the question. The question was, very simply, “Do you want to be happy or not?” If you keep it that simple, you will see that it really is under your control. It’s just that you have a deep-seated set of preferences that gets in the way.

Let’s say you’ve been lost and without food for days, and you finally find your way to a house. You can hardly make it to the doorstep, but you manage to pull yourself up and knock on the door. Somebody opens the door, looks at you and says, “Oh my God! You poor thing! Do you want something to eat? What would you like?” Now the truth is, you really don’t care what they give you. You don’t even want to think about it. You just utter the word “food.” And because you really mean it when you say you need food, it no longer has anything to do with your mental preferences.

The same goes for the question about happiness. The question is simply “Do you want to be happy?” If the answer is really yes, then say it without qualifying it. After all, what the question really means is “Do you want to be happy from this point forward for the rest of your life, regardless of what happens?”

Now, if you say yes, it might happen that your wife leaves you, or your husband dies, or the stock market crashes, or your car breaks down on an open highway at night. Those things might happen between now and the end of your life. But if you want to walk the highest spiritual path, then when you answer yes to that simple question, you must really mean it. There are no ifs, ands, or buts about it. It’s not a question of whether your happiness is under your control. Of course it’s under your control. It’s just that you don’t really mean it when you say you’re willing to stay happy. You want to qualify it. You want to say that as long as this doesn’t happen, or as long as that does happen, then you’re willing to be happy. That’s why it seems like it is out of your control. Any condition you create will limit your happiness. You simply aren’t going to be able to control things and keep them the way you want them.

You have to give an unconditional answer. If you decide that you’re going to be happy from now on for the rest of your life, you will not only be happy, you will become enlightened. Unconditional happiness is the highest technique there is. You don’t have to learn Sanskrit or read any scriptures. You don’t have to renounce the world. You just have to really mean it when you say that you choose to be happy. And you have to mean it regardless of what happens. This is truly a spiritual path, and it is as direct and sure a path to Awakening as could possibly exist. Once you decide you want to be unconditionally happy, something inevitably will happen that challenges you. This test of your commitment is exactly what stimulates spiritual growth. In fact, it is the unconditional aspect of your commitment that makes this the highest path. It’s so simple.

by Michael A. Singer Copyright ©2007 Excerpt from Chapter 15 of “The Untethered Soul – The Journey Beyond Yourself.”

Read “Happiness, Freedom, and Independence: ‘I don’t know what will make me happy.'”

Read “Fantasies: ‘All I want is a Lamborghini! Then I’d be happy.'”

“Why did she give me that gift? She knows I hate red.”

"Romanza" by Mimi Stuart ©
Live the Life you Desire


So what I really meant was…

“It’s the thought that counts. If I can’t exchange it, at least I’ll be ready for the next white elephant party.”

A wise lover values not so much the gift of the lover as the love of the giver.

~Thomas á Kempis

by Alison Poulsen, PhD

Read “Resentment.”

“The world is becoming worse. Where’s the opportunity?”

"Light of the Silvery" by Mimi Stuart
Live the Life you Desire

A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.

~Winston Churchill

Realistic optimism — that is, hopefulness and confidence about the future with an understanding of reality — enhances quality of life and longevity. Optimism requires intentional seeking of opportunity, beauty, and possibility, even in circumstances that don’t seem to hold out much hope, as in the following story:

The pessimist was sitting in a room full of toys and he did nothing but whine and cry. In contrast, the optimist was placed in a room full of horse manure and given a shovel. The optimist was happily shoveling away the manure. When asked why he was so happy, he said: “There’s got to be a pony in here somewhere!”

by Alison Poulsen, PhD

Read “What is there to be cheerful about?”

Read “Flexibility: ‘My negative emotions bring me down. I tend to dwell on feeling hurt or angry.'”

“Oh NO! Not another problem!”

"Under Water" detail by Mimi Stuart
Live the Life you Desire

So what I really meant was…

“How much will this matter in two weeks or a year from now?”

Keep things in perspective.

Limit your focus to that which you have control over. Look at all the things you’re dealing with and figure out which is the most critical thing you should focus on first.

The older I get the more wisdom I find in the ancient rule of taking first things first. A process which often reduces the most complex human problem to a manageable proportion.

~Dwight D. Eisenhower

by Alison Poulsen, PhD

Read “Disappointment: ‘I’m so disappointed. How could she?'”

Guest Author Dr. Jennifer Freed
“It’s so unfair; I can’t find a job.”
What to do after College or between Jobs:

"Aries" by Mimi Stuart
Live the Life you Desire

1) Learn another language (people with multiple languages are more employable.)

2) Volunteer especially at a place where you will learn a transferable job skill like:

a) cooking b) gardening c) administrative assistant d) bookkeeper, etc.

3) Intern at a friend or your folks’ business and specifically ask to shadow someone who can teach you something valuable in the work world.

4) Create a blog on a new topic and work on it everyday.

5) Get more education through city college classes.

6) Get fit. Do everything you can to be in the best shape possible. Looking healthy is a bonus when looking for jobs.

7) Visit aging relatives because you have the time and they really need your love and attention.

8 ) Create a 5 year plan and action steps to achieve the plan and take a small step everyday.

9) Read, Read, Read, When you are busy at work you have less time to read and reading improves your mind muscles and your vocabulary. A well read person is a more hirable person in many jobs.

10) Keep your living space immaculate and ordered. An organized living environment helps with work habits and clarity.

11) Stay on a sleep cycle that is oriented towards working so the transition will be smooth when you get a job and you will be well rested.

12) Seek friends who are going places and have good jobs so that you can get tips and contacts from them and so you will stay inspired.

DO NOT

1) Get wasted every day.

2) Watch videos and TV every day.

3) Hang out with low life and complain about how unfair life is.

4) Spend endless time social networking about inane trivia and gossip.

5) Eat junk food and have horrible sleep habits.

6) Run home to mommy/daddy and want them to forever take care of you.

7) Get into a wretched high drama relationship just to pass the time.

By Dr. Jennifer Freed, the author of “Lessons from Stanley the Cat”, a psychotherapist, a radio show host “Freed Up,” on Voice America, & a professor.

Read “I hate my job!”