"Capriccio" by Mimi Stuart
Live the Life you Desire

Bragging backfires

People brag in order to impress others. However, reciting your resumé and accomplishments on a first date actually can do the opposite. It suggests that you are compensating for low self-esteem and feelings of inadequacy. It also attracts people who want you to pull them into a false sense of superiority.

Enjoy the conversation

1. Retain some mystery. It’s actually more impressive and fun to meet someone who remains a mystery and who prefers engaging in conversation rather than in impressing others.

2. Relax. Instead of flashing your credentials and flexing your muscles, relax and be yourself. Be curious without interviewing aggressively. Balance talking and listening.

3. Be honest. If you disagree with an opinion, say so diplomatically.

4. Feel good about yourself. Flirting is healthy—although you don’t need to go overboard.

5. Take it easy. Getting to know someone is like dancing together for the first time. If you jump into your fanciest moves without getting a feel for your dance partner first, you will be dancing on your own.

by Alison Poulsen, PhD

Read “Symptoms of Narcissism.”