“Transcendence” by Mimi Stuart ©
Fear as a signal – it can be lifesaving
Fear is a healthy emotional response that alerts you to potential danger. However, if fear takes control of your life, you can no longer respond to danger effectively.
Three negative consequences when fear turns to panic
1. You become ineffective
Extreme anxiety can lead to mental paralysis or physical illness. It also prevents you from being taken seriously by others. Imagine a doctor, lawyer, or military leader who expresses extreme anxiety when facing an emergency.
2. Anxiety is contagious
Extreme anxiety is infectious, particularly among emotionally-fused people who are extremely reactive to one another’s emotions. For example, one person’s anger or anxiety causes the other person to react with the same emotion or to polarize to a position of having no concern. This extreme reactivity takes away from productive problem-solving.
3. The anxious person becomes the problem
When you allow anxiety to overwhelm you, it may cause others to respond to you rather than on the actual problem. Only with a calm and rational approach can constructive and deliberate action be taken in difficult or emergency situations.
Calm your emotions
Ironically, if you care deeply about a person or problem, keeping a cool head is the best way to help others and yourself through difficult times. Individuals need to become more emotionally separate, and therefore, less reactive. Even if only one person becomes less reactive, the ability to handle difficulties will improve.
How to handle fear
When you imagine a downward spiral of catastrophic consequences, you are likely to become overwhelmed, the situation will likely spiral out of control, and your worst-case prophecy is more likely to come true. So, redirect your focus.
1. Engage the rational part of your mind to to alleviate the panic and address the challenge.
2. Figure out what you have control over and take appropriate action. Consider it a puzzle that you want to solve.
3. Imagine what the worst possible outcome could be. Then imagine the most constructive and self-possessed way to accept the worst consequences. Once you prepare for the worst, know that reality will probably not be as bad as you fear.
4. Continue to engage in other parts of your life — your work, family, friends and interests — in order to buoy your strength and to enjoy the blessings that you still possess.
While it is important to be prepared for potential dangers in the world, we should strive for a balance between fear and hope, viewing the world with an informed awareness and equanimity.
by Alison Poulsen, PhD